I'm back, hos.

This song goes out to Laura Hannemann. I'm definitely going to practice droppin it. Especially at work so that my boss can see what's going on in the security cameras. Kind of true story.

This wasn't what I expected.

Really? Recreating a Ren Fair? And it's just one dude who is clearly going to look like a creep in 5 years? And what the hell is with those people in chicken masks? Is that a thing people do? At Ren Fairs? And the missle? Whaaat?

I think my book club is full of babies.

Everyone says the book is too hard, but I don't think anyone has actually read the book. The introduction is the hardest part! How do I get people to believe me?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!

Stupid book club for pussies.

Can I pull off a fan?

Discuss.

Seasons.

You can almost tell that Spring is going to show up any fucking day now. But go ahead and take your time. Snow again. I'll just be here, enjoying my white wine, sprite, and ice cubes.

Saturday night off!

Time to go dancing. Where can we find good ol' fashioned disco these days?

And the spoken interludes = so special and CH-AMAZING.

You know that feeling the week after you pay rent?